So, I’m four weeks into the 2014 CrossFit Open. My performance thus-far has not been exactly as I had hoped. (Thanks, Dave Castro, for programming a beast of a WOD for 14.4 to destroy my ability to get a muscle up. #humbled) While I was clear with myself that I could not commit to competitive training until I finished graduate school this past December, I thought I was still well prepared. My skill set and strength stats are beyond where I was back at 2012 Regionals, but I haven’t kept up with the women in our region who have improved leaps and bounds over the past two years. After fighting a nasty bug for the first two weeks of the competition, I decided to take a complete rest week. Yep, in the middle of the Open, I took a break.
I originally hoped to maintain a strong standing amongst the other 5000+ female competitors in our region. I intended to demonstrate that you can balance it all and still be strong. I wanted to be a source of inspiration to get moving. I wanted to get my company up and running. I wanted to be a good wife and mother. I wanted to do it all.
Instead of keeping a competitive ranking on the Leaderboard, I’m a bit lower. Instead of having an established business, I’m chipping away slowly each day. The baskets of laundry are clean, but take a few days to get put in drawers. We’ve used up the frozen vegetables and meat kept in the freezer for “emergencies” (i.e. I just didn’t get to the store today). Don’t get me wrong. I’m thankful for all that I have and have accomplished. Sterling is growing like a weed and such a joy. I love my family and my life. My physical abilities are fine. My business is coming together.
My energy level the past month has dwindled, so I am taking progressive steps to find out more about my current body and its needs. I read that the postpartum period can last up to the first 6 months. But, from the birth to breast feeding to getting back to work to our bodies adjusting to it all, our hormones can go for quite a ride well past the first year. I don’t know about any of you other new mommas, but my PMS has been a bit more spicy than my pre-prego self. While Sterling is doing a great job sleeping, sometimes I feel I need more rest. Adequate sleep is a huge factor for my overall well-being.
TIME TO SLOW DOWN
As for my lack of energy, I decided to be kinder to myself. Stop putting pressure on myself to do it all everyday. In the case of some days, being a mom is plenty. I give myself permission to rest when the baby sleeps. I set my intention on enjoying my life and my family instead of trudging through my to-do list. In particular, I am focusing on being kinder to myself and finding balance with each day. I have also sought out an ND to run a full blood panel and see how my body is re-adjusting from childbirth and beyond. For grounding and centering, I have had CranioSacral Therapy, acupuncture, Network Chiropractic, restorative yoga, and take my yoga mat in the backyard to rest on the ground. When it comes to running on all-cylinders on empty, once the cup is completely drained, refilling it can be pretty tough. Our bodies are resilient, not immortal.
It is so important for me to practice self-care, and get regular body work. We are tough on our bodies. We have high expectations for ourselves at home, at work, in the gym, and everywhere else. The whole body feels the impact of childbirth and childrearing. Things shift, move, and change. Our bodies change physically, our hormones adjust, our neural processes shift. I spent the first year focused on getting back to my “pre-prego” self. That girl no longer exists. Instead of trying to go back, it’s time to go forward. I think it’s time for me to get to know the new and improved me. Stop trying to force my new self into an old mold that no longer fits. Slow down a bit and find a better pace for the marathon of life. Accept that my daily accomplishments may not always be of the tangible kind; except for hugs. Baby hugs are always the best reward.
Momma’s, contact me when you are ready to start your new journey to self-discovery and satisfaction. START HERE.
*Postpartum Depression (PPD) is a serious medical concern. If you feel that you need help adjusting from childbirth, please contact someone.*